I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
