I think my fart just growled at me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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