clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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