Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
