I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
