just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
