party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
