therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
