shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
