There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
