is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
