i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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