I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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