Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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