Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
