I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
