I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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