he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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