i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
