their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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