New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's official drugs can't kill me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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