Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
