I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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