worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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