i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
