You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
