she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
