hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
