I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
