im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
