They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Who died my cat blue again?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
