JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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