so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
