My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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