But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
