Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
