He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
