I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
