Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
