i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
