My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Threesome in a minivan. New low
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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