matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
