I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
