I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
