Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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