where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Michael Bay diarrhea
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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