ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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