Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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