Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
