some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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