And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
