So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
