Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
