Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
