You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
